THESE WISE WORDS ARE BROUGHT TO YOU BY "DOC" AND "LOLITA"!
What a lovely day outside! It's warm and sunny. The birds are out, cars are being washed, and what's this???...... There's a fresh layer of toxic doggy poop on the lawn?? Gotta love melting snow!
THE FINE ART OF POOPER SCOOPING:
1.) Never attempt a scoop without the proper equipment, this includes a heavy duty garbage bag for all the little presents left behind over winter. I cannot stress this enough! Do not think that your small little kitchen garbage bag, or your plastic baggy, will be strong enough. Everything will be going along just fine...until you pick the bag up. Then Poof...use your imagination!
2.) Check your scooper BEFORE you begin the procedure. You don't want any accidents!
3.) If you have neglected scooping over the winter (like I did), set aside at least 2 hours of your time.
4.) Never, and I mean NEVER, look up at your neighbor while continuing to walk through your lawn. Again, we don't want any accidents here.
5.) Make sure you wear some heavy duty boots while scooping. Oh, and make sure they are boots you don't care about.
6.) Don't ever walk through your kitchen, with said boots on, in search of more garbage bags. You'll just end up with another mess to clean up.
7.) Always scoop with a smile on your face. Keep thinking, hey...it could be worse. I could be Vicky right now.
8.) And if all else fails, remember my final words of wisdom:
- Keep your head down at all times
- Watch out for the hidden piles of joy
- And above all else....KEEP YOUR MOUTH CLOSED!
Have a great sunny day all! I know I will! *Heavy Sarcasm*