WE ONLY HAVE TILL MIDNIGHT (TONIGHT) TO HELP THEM OUT!
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As an added incentive (and basically because I feel the need to avenge a little certain something to a few wonderful friends of mine) I will be donning the ever popular "Team Edward" shirt this weekend. So, if you are out and about at the Columbus Carriage Classic this weekend, you might just spot me.
(Oh yes girls, prepare yourselves - I don't do this very often)
NATURAL DISASTER TIME
For six hours, we were pummeled with thick blankets of rain, a constant flurry of lightning, and roars of thunder that shook the house like a bass drum. It has been our experience, that whenever a storm is THAT bad, we usually have a small amount of flooding in our basement.
"Did you clean the gutters?" I asked my husband, as his eyes remained fixated on a repetitious episode of Law and Order. "Uh-huh, they're clean."
An hour goes by, then two, then three. We lost power for a short time, but everything came back on rather quickly. It wasn't until I was at a pivotal point in my writing that I hear ....
"I NEED YOUR HELP!" Reverberating from the basement.
I knew what was happening. We were flooding. Sure enough, as I descend the stairs, there is a good two inches of standing water in the corner of the basement, spreading rapidly across my ultra cheap blue carpet. Then, it starts coming in from the other corner of the room, and all hell breaks loose!
"Holy S--T!" Sean screams, as panic sets in. "I don't know what to do. It's coming so fast." (Yes, he actually said that.)
Me, being the calm, level headed one of the family, quickly decides to take action in the form of buckets, towels, and carpet shampooer. Sean, however, goes off the deep end.
"I'm going outside to clean the gutters! We're going to have a major problem. It's not stopping!" He screams, bolting to the back door.
I spin around on the spot, grab him by the arm, and basically threaten his life. "You are NOT going outside in this! We're under a tornado warning for cripes sake!"
Reluctantly, he returns to the mess at hand, but things only escalate from there.
"I think I should call 911!" He shouts, totally consumed with misplaced fear. *sigh*
"Call them so they can do what? Mop up someones basement? Give it a rest, and just try to keep up with it." I laugh, as I spin dry some wet towels.
Two seconds later, he is out the door, through the backyard, and into the street. A second after that I hear this : "HOLY F'N S--T!" Not something that I, or any neighbor, wants to hear at two in the morning. So, of course, I'm out the door, making a bee-line for Sean, about ready to smack him upside the head. Instead, I freeze.
(And yes, that is Sean at the very end saying "Where is all this water coming from?")
*giggle* Oh you silly boys ... it's called RAIN!!!!!
So here's what I love about this situation. There is definitely something awful happening to our house, yet at two in the morning, we are both standing outside in our pj's, watching a torrent of water cascade down the street. Then it begins ...
"I think I should call 911!" Sean screams (again), "Seriously, this is bad. There is something blocking that drain. The city will come out and fix it. I'm gonna call them."
(At this point I am rolling my eyes, contemplating exactly how much a divorce is going to cost me, and about how my life seems to have been turned into an episode of Family Guy)
"Will you knock it off!" I shout back, at my worry-stricken Husband, "The city isn't going to come out here at two in the morning for something like this stupid! It's just rain for crying out loud!"
"No it's not! IT'S A NATURAL DISASTER!" He shouts (again at two in the morning)
I usher him back inside, pleading with him to keep quiet, and finally manage to clean up the majority of the standing water in the basement. Sean, of course, calmed down as soon as he saw we were making progress.
BUT ... the best part of my night was when he walked outside again (about ten minutes post natural disaster), and shouts :
"OH MY GOD .... ALL THE WATER IS GONE!"
I was laughing way too hard . "That's why they call them FLASH FLOODS!!!"
"I don't know what you're talking about. very funny. Obviously the city came out here while we were in the house, and fixed the drains."
I clasped my hands over my mouth, and let it go. Seriously? Really? *Heavy sigh*
Needless to say, we had an adventure last night, but this morning there was one more thing to add to the insanity that is my life. Our basement is alright for the moment. Sean cleaned the gutters (which were full of crap). So, as we hunker down for the next round of storms today, I see Sean picking up a chair from the kitchen table.
Wearing NOTHING but blue, tattered sweat pants, he opens the front door (coffee cup in hand), plants the chair firmly on the porch, and settles in for a leisurely morning of neighbor watching. I know what he is thinking ... None of these people saw what I saw last night, yessssss .... but the fact of my husband, sitting half naked, drinking a cup of coffee from an old Christmas mug, out in plain view of the public, is too much!!! (Love you honey)
I'm hiding in this office till I have to leave for Columbus.